it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
