Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
