Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
