She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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