shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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