so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
