I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
