i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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