Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize