Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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