So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
