All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I party with great urgency now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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