he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
