i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
