Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
