he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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