I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
