New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
