everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
