we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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