I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
