Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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