Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
