I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
