Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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