): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
