So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
