fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
