Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
