Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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