Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
