Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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