when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
did you just send me my own nude
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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