Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
