Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
