I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
