I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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