You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
