Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
