I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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