she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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