im gay
i know
yea but for you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
