Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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