Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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