I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
