I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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