I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You ruined the universe
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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