btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize