they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
