yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
