He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
