God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm really busy with my period
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