I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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