Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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