when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
