I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
