Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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