I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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