I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she peed on how many people?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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