Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
