I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
