Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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